Hole in One!

Now I’m not much of a golfer.  Typically, I get out once or twice a year; three times in a good year.  Yesterday (7th July!) was my first golf outing of 2009.  I set out on Gullane No. 3 with my good friend Adam. 

And something truly unexpected happened.  After 14 holes of hacking it, ignominiously, in and out of the rough, I stepped up onto the 15th tee.  For those of you who know Gullane No. 3, the 15th is a lovely par 3, which invites you to loft your tee-shot from an elevated plateau down into the yawning chasm below, where the green nestles at the bottom of a basin.

I accepted the invitation, picked out my six iron and hit a dream of a shot – the kind of shot that deludes you into thinking that you might actually be quite good at golf.  Up she went, high and handsome, and down she came, pitching just short of the green.  She rolled on and to the right, meandered up the right hand bank, rolled on and left, back down towards the pin.  She kept going, slowly but surely.  And then she dropped!

Plenty of whooping, hollering and hugging followed – and 24 hours on, I’m still basking in the contented glow of a truly unexpected, and probably once in a lifetime, experience.

Hole in One

Before I get too excited though, when I reflect on the rest of my card – which brought me in at a decidedly ugly 49 shots over par – I can conclude two things: 1) that my tee-shot from the 15th was really something of a fluke; and 2) this isn’t the start of a glorious golfing career.

Chad’s Nasal Hygiene Leaves a Lot to be Desired

I’m no particular follower of golf, but found myself tickled by the following.  The relative outsider, American Chad Campbell, had found himself leading the US Masters after the first round.  The position clearly went to his head when uttered:

“Obviously I’m happy I’m in the lead, but you definitely never want to finish the round with two bogeys. It kind of leaves a bit of a sour taste in your mouth.”

Now, either Chad Campbell is painfully unaware of the unintended comedy of what he said; or it was intentional, and he’s just confirming for us all that he’s from the pick it, lick it, roll it, flick it school of nasal hygiene.

Chad feels a bogey coming on

Then there’s the question of whether Mr. Campbell’s ‘chads’ are dimpled or hanging.  But, on second thoughts, let’s not go there …

That's right, Chad - flick it, don't lick it

Not content with keeping my amusement to myself, I sent Chad’s soundbite to the BBC’s ‘Sports Quotes of the Week’ desk.  To my amazement they published it on the BBC Sport website.