He’s Not the Messiah …

November 24, 2010

It’s that time of year again when I issue my perennial ‘West Ham are in deep trouble, the season’s going down the toilet’ post.

(If you’re remotely interested, you can read the previous entries here:

Anyhow, despite the fact that we’re currently 5 points adrift from safety at the bottom of the premier league, the club have sought fit to keep beleaguered manager Avram Grant on.  At least for now.  (The omens aren’t good – Grant hasn’t been out of the relegation zone for a single day in the last year since taking over as manager of now relegated Portsmouth in November 2009). 

Instead, they’ve jettisoned Grant’s assistant, Zeljko Petrovik, the fall guy for the team’s run of poor form.

With Petrovic now gone, the rumour-mill has gone into overdrive with regards to who will replace him.  And the fans’ favourite is none other than former player Paulo Di Canio.

The club are doing nothing to dampen the expectation, even going as far as very publically inviting Di Canio as a guest of honour to this Saturday’s “Save Our Season” game against Wigan.

Perhaps the passionate Di Canio, a man who has always worn his heart on his sleeve, would be the ideal antidote to Avram Grant’s dour and expressionless demeanour; the perfect yin to Grant’s yan?  And something has got to change if West Ham are to rescue their season.

But, before we get carried away with ourselves, let us not forget the last time we appealed to Di Canio to save our club and to save our season.  Read the rest of this entry »


Software Development Methodologies Make Late Dash for Olympic Inclusion

August 6, 2010

Phew, it’s an energetic business this software development!  With the growing lexicon of sporting phrases entering the lingua franca, software developers have never needed to be fitter.  We’ve got ’daily scrums‘, ‘sprints‘ and an ever-increasing need to be ‘agile‘.  So with just under two years to go until the opening ceremony, surely it’s not too late to include software development methodologies as a new Olympic Sport at London 2010?     Read the rest of this entry »


Capello’s Own Goal

June 18, 2010

So, Fabio Capello has been running the rule over Rob Green – assessing whether his embattled first choice keeper has got the bottle to bounce back from his howler against the USA.

Capello has apparently been resolute in his refusal to deviate from his pre-match ritual of not letting his squad know the starting eleven until 2 hours before kick-off.

However, it would seem that Capello’s rules are made to be broken.  He has already announced that “Garry Barry” will start against Algeria. 

So, come on Fabio!  Do the decent thing, and flex your intransigent rules one more time to give your top stopper the Green light.


You Know You’re Getting Old When …

June 11, 2010
  • … the World Cup starts, and you can’t slope off from work early to watch the opening match because you’ve got too many “responsibilities”.
  • … you’re carrying around so many keys that you can’t actually fit them into your  pocket.
Keys

Keys

  • … you’re spending £150 a week on food to feed a ravenous and ever growing family.
  • … you go and watch Scotland play cricket, and all the players are considerably younger than you are.  Even Graham Hamilton, the battle-worn skipper, a seasoned veteran who is greying at the temples, looking slightly haggard and carrying a few spare pounds.
Gavin Hamilton

Gavin Hamilton


North Berwick Minis end another Season on a High

May 10, 2010

A strange feeling of deja vu - another mini-rugby season ends, with another North Berwick win at the Preston Lodge mini rugby tournament.
North Berwick P6 win at Preston Lodge Tournament
North Berwick P6 win at Preston Lodge Tournament

The boys won all 5 of their games – against Musselburgh, Preston Lodge, Watsons, Haddington and Portobello – and played some lovely rugby in the process.  Well done boys!


Haha! Call that a Haka?

February 25, 2010

With the Six Nations in full swing, with all its pumped up aggression, raw power and pure adrenaline, I’m reminded that it wasn’t always thus. 

Witness New Zealand’s Haka – supposedly an intimidating war dance – delivered ahead of their clash with the Barbarians at Cardiff Arms Park in 1973:

Yeah, yeah – I know that the All Blacks aren’t involved in the Six Nations.  I just couldn’t resist the opportunity to post the most effete haka you’re ever likely to see.

Here’s how it should be done:

The 1973 game also saw the infamous try by Gareth Edwards which is celebrated by many as the best ever scored:

In much the same way as you don’t see mincing Hakas anymore, you just don’t see side-steps like Phil Bennett’s.   You’re more likely to see the risk-averse/percentage game played with a volley of aimless ‘tactical’ kicking from one end of the pitch to another in today’s game, rather than the last line of defence picking up the ball and running it back.  And you don’t get away with neck-high tackles like the one on JPR Williams.  Play on!


Twitter: we wos robbed!

February 18, 2010

News comes today that Sunderland striker Darren Bent has stopped tweeting to concentrate on his football.  It comes after he landed himself in trouble a few months ago for issuing a number of ill-advised tweets, about which other football clubs he would and wouldn’t join.

He’s not the first person to land themselves in trouble for revealing too much about themselves through their Twitter entries.

Witness Please Rob Me, a site which has just launched which tells burglars which houses are likely to be empty – based on information unwittingly provided by Twitter users.  The apparent real objective of the site is to warn people of the potential side effects of inadvertently revealing too much about yourself through your tweets.

Please Rob Me

Please Rob Me

Perhaps Darren Bent has taken heed of Please Rob Me.  He wouldn’t be the first high-profile British footballer to have his house burgled when he was known to be miles away from home, on a pitch, kicking a ball about.

So, the message from Please Rob Me is – be careful what you Twitter.  You could end up revealing much more than you had intended.  On the other hand, you could do us all a favour and just follow Darren Bent’s example of simply hanging up your Twitter boots.


The Lampards – That Missing Demo Tape

January 18, 2010

Once upon a time, I was in a band.  I played the bass for a time.  We wrote some pretty decent music for a bunch of sixth-form school kids, trying to pretend we were The Charlatans, at the height of the 1989/1990 Madchester scene.

We were called The Lampards – in homage to West Ham’s bearded former full-back, at a time when his son, Chelsea’s current midfield golden boy was still in short trousers.   OK, so he still is in short trousers most of the time, but you get the idea.

Frank Lampard

The Frank Lampard

We sent  the demo tapes to the late, great, John Peel.  He liked them, or so he said.  We tried to get a record deal.  We never quite made it, but had lots of fun trying.

I lost one of the master demo tapes.  And now, some 20 odd years (!!!!) later I’ve unearthed it in a dusty old cardboard box.  And thanks to the wonders of modern technology, there’s now no need for that record deal – the songs can be published online.

The Lampards

The Lampards

So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Lampards:





Matt – I’ll give you the demo cassette the next time I see you.  For now you’ll have to make do with these MP3s on your iPod.  Sorry for ‘mislaying’ it for all these years.

Maybe if we’d sent that one to John Peel, things would have turned out differently.


End of the Road for Saab as Economic Slump Claims another Victim

December 18, 2009

Today’s announcement that Saab will face “an orderly wind-down of operations” is yet another indication of the sheer depths to which the current economic situation has plunged.

Saab

Saab

The news that Saab’s owner, General Motors, has failed to find a buyer for the trusted marque has left a number of my work colleagues, who are avowed Saab-groupies, glum-faced.  Andy, Frank, Leena – take a bow.

It follows hot on the heels of the news this week that FlyGlobespan – Scotland’s premium air carrier – will also be wound up.

Personally speaking, I’ve never driven a Saab, but by reputation and recommendation, I hold the marque in extremely high regard as a manufacturer of well-engineered, reliable and trustworthy cars. 

Fly Globespan

Fly Globespan

I have, however, had experience of FlyGlobespan and have nothing but good things to say about them.  They’ve transported me and my family on numerous holidays, and we’ve never had the kind of grumbles (late planes, plans cancelled prior to travel, surly staff, etc) which I’ve experienced through the likes of Easyjet and Ryanair.

Aside from the personal inconvenience of having to make alternative holiday arrangements, these recent events provide a clear and stark indication of the depths to which the economic situation has plummetted, when trusted and accomplished businesses are forced to wind up their operations. 

And whilst we’re on the subject of brands which are steeped in tradition and known for operating in their field with distinction and have a global heritage for doing things ‘the right way’, please spare a thought for my football club, West Ham United. 

West Ham United

West Ham United

The way that things are going, I genuinely fear that West Ham United will be the next such respected brand which meets an untimely end as a direct result of the economic downturn.  Granted, some appalling mismanagement of the club’s affairs by West Ham’s recent Icelandic owners has played no small part. 

But, for what it’s worth, I urge Straumur (the consortium appointed to represent the interests of the creditors of Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson, West Ham’s former Chairman) in the strongest possible terms to take some decisive action to prevent the inevitable.

As we move ever closer to the January transfer window, West Ham seem incapable of picking up points on the pitch, making the prospect of relegation increasingly inevitable.  If relegation were to happen, West Ham (already reportedly £80 million in debt) would have little realistic chance of avoiding administration – which would see a 10 points deduction and the prospect of Division 1 football (at best) for the start of the 2011 season.

Messrs Sullivan and Gold (formerly owners of Birmingham City) have reportedly had a £50 million bid for West Ham turned down by Straumur.  This raises the interesting (although disastrous) prospect that Straumur (who by their own admission are money people and have no interest in football) may elect to cash in on West Ham’s prize assets in the January transfer window.  By selling the likes of Carlton Cole, Matthew Upson, Scott Parker and Robert Green (all of whom have no shortage of suitors), Straumur would, in a stroke, make an equivalent sum of money to that which Sullivan and Gold were offering whilst in the process removing the spine of West Ham’s team.

The stadium and the London property upon which it stands would be the remaining prime asset, and I’m sure there would be a deal to be done with a housing developer or supermarket.  And all of a sudden – from a financial perspective, this seems like a more attractive proposition than that which Sullivan and Gold have made.

But (and it’s a big ‘but’) this option only becomes attractive as a short term way of stripping the asset if (and it’s a big ‘if’) relegation of West Ham from the Premier League becomes an inevitability.  It isn’t yet.  However, decisive action (a change in ownership and inflow of new net funds before January) is required to avert this.

It’s perhaps ironic that FlyGlobespan isn’t the first airline to go bust in recent months.  XL Holidays – who had been until that point West Ham’s shirt sponsor – went into administration just over a year ago.  Who would have thought at that time that West Ham United could go the same way?


One in the Eye for the Murdochs, as Ashes fall from the Sky

November 13, 2009

Some well-trailed, but nonetheless fantastic news from the Department of Culture, Media & Sport today - its review panel has recommended that England’s home Ashes cricket test matches should return to terrestrial TV from 2017.

From Sky’s perspective, the timing won’t have gone un-noticed.  Gordon Brown will no doubt have been more than a little miffed by The Sun’s shift of allegiance away from the Labour Party, and what better way to retaliate against News Corporation?

Gordon Brown

Gordon Brown

Rupert Murdoch

Rupert Murdoch

It’s just as shame that we’ll have to wait until 2017, and that it will be fans of rugby union who will miss out.  The recommendation is that the 6 Nations matches which feature the home nations will cease to be protected under the secondary list, which will now be scrapped. 

Unless you live in Wales that is, where rugby is evidently far more important than it is in the rest of UK.


The Price of Loyalty – You do the Math …

October 1, 2009

At last, an apparent crumb of comfort for we beleaguered West Ham United fans. 

We’re sitting in the relegation zone, having not won a league game since the opening match of the season on 15th August.  The squad is looking decidedly thin; the transfer window is shut, and we haven’t got a brass farthing to rub together in any case.  And now we’re about to get clobbered by the FA in the light of crowd trouble at the Millwall game.

But lo, an ad on the home page of the West Ham website invites visitors to sign up to the club’s credit card.  In return, the club will give you a free home shirt.  A not particularly nice free home shirt (maybe they haven’t been selling too well?).  But a free home shirt nonetheless:

£60 for a free shirt anyone?

£60 for a free shirt anyone?

But, hang on, what’s this?  Ah, the smallprint:

“All you have to do is transfer £2,000 to your credit card in the first 90 days of your account opening. (3% handling fee).”

So that would be 3% of £2,000.  Or £60.  So not free.  And not even discounted.  If you had taken leave of your style senses and were so inclined, you could buy a new home shirt from the club shop for £40. 

And it’s not just the shirt which is unpleasant – at 15.9%, the typical variable APR isn’t particularly attractive either.


In Praise of the BBC

August 31, 2009

James Murdoch’s scathing attack on the BBC and the wider British broadcasting authorities has hit the press – most of which now appears to be owned by News Corporation –  the organisation which he represents in Europe and Asia as chairman and chief executive.  Speaking at the MacTaggart lecture at the MediaGuardian Edinburgh International Television Festival, Murdoch laid into the BBC:

“Funded by a hypothecated tax, the BBC feels empowered to offer something for everyone, even in areas well served by the market.  The scope of its activities and ambitions is chilling.”

Power … ambition … chilling.   Surely the pot is calling the kettle black? 

Twenty years earlier, again at the MacTaggart lecture, his father Rupert was laying into the “anti commercial attitudes” of the British broadcasting establishment.  Now, the “state sponsored journalism” of the BBC, says James Murdoch in an uncharacteristically conspicuous display of thought leadership control, is “a threat to the plurality and independence of our news provision, which is so important for our democracy”.  Blimey!  Has he looked in the mirror lately?  Oh no, hang on, that’s one of the few newspapers he doesn’t own.

The Murdochs’ dominance of the global news agenda for megalomaniacal and avaricious motives has already gone too far, and you only need look as far as sport to realise it.

In the light of the England cricket team’s recent Ashes victory over Australia, it was a desperate shame that this moment could not have been witnessed live on terrestrial TV – as it had been in 2005.  In 2005, the viewing figures peaked at 7.4 million; in 2009, it was less than 2 million.  The reason: Sky bought up the rights.  The result: commercial interests held too much sway over the greater public good.

An Australian correspondent on BBC’s Radio 5 Live the morning after England’s triumph was flabbergasted that the Ashes were not being broadcast on terrestrial, free-to-air television.  In Australia (ironically, the nation of Rupert Murdoch’s birth) – the notion of having to pay to watch The Ashes simply would not be countenanced.  The correspondent’s view was that cricket was the nation’s sport – it belongs to the nation.  So, why would the nation want to give it away, to then have to pay to get it back?

On a personal level, Sky’s stronghold on live cricket coverage is extremely disappointing – my son is 10 and had really started to enjoy the cricket this summer.  However, his enthusiasm has been throttled by the fact that he is restricted to watching highlights or listening to BBC’s (excellent) Test Match Special coverage on the radio.  Children need immediate, visual and real-time connection to their sports heroes to most effectively foster the next generation of sports stars.  I fear that the ECB’s short term decision to take Sky TV’s lucre will inflict long-lasting damage on English cricket, and one which – commercially – will come to haunt Sky, because it won’t have a sufficiently large subscriber-base to market cricket as a premium service.

Perhaps 20-20 cricket will come to the rescue – a bite-sized, easily digestible form of the game, marketed at today’s time-short, easily-distracted sports fan.  Only time will tell, but it is interesting to note that the new form of the game has been conceived and moulded, first and foremost, to suit commercial broadcasting interests. 

And cricket doesn’t have a very happy track record when it comes to heavy-handed interventions by overtly commercial broadcasters.  Witness Kerry Packer in the 1970s and Allen Stanford’s more recent $20m ‘winner takes all’ cricketing fiasco.

Is top-flight domestic football a better sport now that commercial TV revenues transformed it from where it stood in the 1980s?  Some may argue that it’s a more polished product – that the skill levels are higher; the pace of the game is quicker; the pitches are better; the stadia are more comfortable.  For the most part, I’d agree with that.  But, the ‘product’ is still – all too often – a let down, as those poor souls who witnessed West Ham’s 0-0 draw against Blackburn on Saturday will testify.  And we can’t even argue that all-seater stadiums have eradicated football hooliganism, after last week’s sorry scenes at Upton Park. 

And is it right that players are traded for £80 million, and get paid in excess of £100k per week?  The bulk of this wealth has been generated by Sky’s subscriber and advertising models - ultimately paid for by the consumer.

In a sporting context, unregulated commercialism (and overtly commercially-minded broadcasting in particular) has distorted all sense of value – financial, social and moral. 

Talking of huge sums of money, the BBC’s annual licence fee revenue is £3.7 billion.  A staggering amount by any measure, even in these numerically-desensitised post-credit-crunch times.  But I don’t begrudge paying my £142.50 slice of it.  What I do refuse to countenance is then paying Sky a subscription fee on top of this, only to be hit by a triple whammy – frequent and lengthy commercial breaks throughout Sky’s broadcast output.  Surely Sky is having their cake and eating it by charging a subscription and interrupting their subscribers’ enjoyment of the service by plugging constant commercial interruptions!   If that’s what Sky’s commercial broadcasting premise entails, I’ll stick with the BBC thanks.

The quality and breadth of the BBC’s output are world class – from original TV content such as The Office, to award-winning radio output such as Five Live and Test Match Special, to its consistently high quality online and news coverage.  Even when they are obliged to cover their ‘all things to all people’ mandate and provide celebrity programmes, then more often than not they do it with more style and flair than their competitors (witness Strictly Come Dancing).

Granted, the BBC is far from perfect, and there are contradictions and anomalies a-plenty.  They pay Jonathan Ross too much money (a salary which would make most Premiership footballers feel hard done by); they advertise their own programmes across their network; they were guilty of more than their fair share of recent ‘voting scandals’; and, they didn’t even bother to bid for the live Test Match cricket rights (aware that they would not be able to compete with Sky’s commercial might).

But we need look no further than ITV to see a commercial network who manages to get terrestrial broadcasting so wrong.  It increasingly seems reliant on Reality TV and sensationalised news output, sandwiched in between advertisements, to stay afloat.  And that was before the floor dropped out of the market for advertising revenues.  The US provides us with an even more stark reminder that if commercial interests in broadcasting are allowed to ride roughshod over the quality of the programming, then the only loser is the viewer, their viewing entertainment peppered with all too regular commercial breaks.

The BBC is idiosyncratic, eccentric, traditional, some would even say trusted.  It embodies Britishness.  Not for nothing is it sometimes affectionately referred to as “Aunty”.   James Murdoch’s take is that it is more akin to “the Addams family of world media.”

But before we forget, 2005’s thrilling free-to-air Ashes coverage was brought to us by Channel 4.  It had very little to do with the BBC.  Proof, if it were needed, that commercial broadcasting and high quality, public interest broadcasting are not incompatible.   Channel 4 proved that you can enhance the product (all snick-o-meters and expert analysis), without making wholesale, commercially-driven changes to the underlying and fundamental format of the game (20-20 cricket).

Both the BBC and Channel 4 have demonstrated that the public is best served when the public isn’t hoodwinked into handing its prize possessions to Sky, only to then be restricted from seeing them again unless it pays a monthly fee to Sky for the privilege. 

And whose activities and ambitions are chilling, Mr Murdoch?


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